They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
