my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
