And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
