I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
