school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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