I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dick very happy bro
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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