I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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