from now on my penis is your penis
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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