your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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