I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
