i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize