1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
