your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
