Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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