She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
