that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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