He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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