i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
