ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
