when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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