You made me cry and you don't even care
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
