She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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