idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize