I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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