so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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