If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
