ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
