We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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