he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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