its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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