Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Even my vagina gasped.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
