Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
