And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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