I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I am midnight drunk by noon
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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