the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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