he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
