shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
