It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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