guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I love you.
Bad choice
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