i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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