he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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