it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
