I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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