She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
