jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
