Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
