my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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