I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
