So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he fucked my hip out of place.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Terrible idea I love it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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