Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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