I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
