what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
