I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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