dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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