I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
