Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
