Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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