I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
