I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
