im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
