if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize