He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
