he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
